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COULD IT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

If you haven’t seen the footage of Iliman Ndiaye executing a unusual dribbling move at Everton’s training ground, it’s worth viewing. Through performing a move so nasty that it would have suited perfectly at a Harlem Globetrotters show game, the skill quickly concluded what was meant to be a lighthearted kickabout to wrap up what had been – up to that point – an illuminating interview about how Sunday league footballers can secure a fresh start after being let go from professional academies.

Ndiaye, who featured in non-league games directly before being recruited by Sheffield United at 19, is expertly placed to speak on this topic. “Avoid dwelling on the rejection and one day your luck is going to arrive,” he told a young player just before executing said impressive trick on his opponent, in doing so vividly showing the difference between Premier League and amateur footballers he had been attempting to dispel.

Ndiaye is far from the only professional footballer to go slightly overboard. Prime Michael Owen gleefully humiliating a teenage keeper in front of a annoyed Neville Southall is undoubtedly the prime example in this particular niche – but the ex-Anfield star is far from the only offender. Both Christian Eriksen and Shinji Kagawa have reduced toddlers to actual tears with a series of merciless tricks, although it’s thought that the latter was at least inspired by the Japanese player’s social media disgrace caption – “difficulty breeds resilience” – and the related tag of #friendship.

Kagawa’s former Dortmund teammates Lukasz Piszczek, Jakub Blaszczykowski and Nuri Sahin at least had the good grace to suffer a loss against 100 children when the three lined up during the half-time break of their farewell game for BVB. A Real Madrid XI that contained Cristiano Ronaldo and Xabi Alonso showed less mercy when they faced 109 Chinese kids in a similar experiment. But returning to the beginning, it’s estimated that only 180 of the 1.5 million boys currently playing organized youth football in England will ever appear in the Premier League, a harsh truth for toddlers and teenagers across the country.

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FEATURED STATEMENT

“Soccer carried me but it never deserted me because I never abandoned my dream. I went from team to team. The passion for soccer propels you. I couldn’t always see where it was directing me. But today I have the answer” – head coach Veljko Paunovic pauses briefly from his planning to share his path.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

“Pleasant to learn that Kevin Mac Allister isn’t going to be left home alone by Argentina. Hopefully, if he goes to the major tournament next year, he’ll research how to navigate the host cities – let’s avoid him being disoriented in New York” – James Humphries.

“Information shows that 1,024 players in the Turkish league have been suspended due to suspected participation in a gambling controversy. It would be fantastic if that number could be raised to the same level of usual detail-orientation associated with Football Daily – that is, 1,057 readers. By my calculation, that’s about 33 more pedants. If I agree to be excluded from playing professionally in Turkey (hardly a difficult decision at my age and, um, talent), are there 32 more folks willing to participate in my quest for harmony?” – Mike Wilner.

“As a frequent consumer and Florida resident, can I proactively complain about the upcoming week-plus of published letters about which road one uses to get to various locations in your homeland? I mean, I was stuck in gridlock on I-4 at 2am on a Tuesday night driving through Orlando once, but that’s the entire tale. There’s no rewarding moral to the tale. (I-4 connects Tampa on the Gulf Coast to Daytona on the Atlantic via Orlando/Walt Disney World, and can have delays at any time)” – Rasteen Nowroozi.

“Regarding Wythenshawe FC, I recall many years ago playing for a Sunday, very recreational club, Turnpike Lane Hibs, on Clapham Common. One morning a bloke presented as ‘Danny’ turned up to play. I have no idea who recruited him. Apparently he was an actor; he had a good left side. (Yes, Daniel Day-Lewis)” – Jason Steger.

“Together with some co-workers and mates, I play a game of football each Friday afternoon. Our oldest player is pushing 80, while the most junior are in their young adulthood. To ensure a positive atmosphere for everyone, we have a simple rule of thumb regarding the skill level: you can be fast or skilled, but ideally not both. We sometimes have players who violate this rule, but usually succeed in bringing them to our standard over time” – Lars Esbjerg.